


Eddie's First Day

by BuckyAndDanno



Series: Evan Buckley-Severide [4]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV), Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant basically, Death Defiance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, mentions of parent death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:42:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26409691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckyAndDanno/pseuds/BuckyAndDanno
Summary: CF 6x12 AU. It’s Eddie’s first day on Truck 81, and he’s glad to finally be back at Evan’s side. He’s also excited to see him in action, but when Kelly and Evan take a risk at a call, things turn sour pretty quickly. Hurt!Buck Worried!Angst!Kelly Paramedic!Worried!Eddie
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: Evan Buckley-Severide [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709599
Comments: 4
Kudos: 136





	Eddie's First Day

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as more Hurt!Buck and basically just became a whole lot of angst. I’m not sorry. Also I’m sorry for not updating this series sooner. I’ve had this one written since April, but I was going to post a Buck and Kelly recovery fic that takes place before it; unfortunately my own mental health has been so bad that I just couldn’t write it.
> 
> “You go, I go” is from Holby City – Ep 22x01 – Jac and Kian say it, and I love it.

Buck’s holding onto the pressure valve for dear life, but he can’t get it to turn off no matter how hard he tries, and deep down he knows this is it. There’s no way he can escape the rooftop before it blows, but he can’t stay like this forever.

For all his close calls, all the times he’s cheated death, Buck knows the deck is stacked against him this time. He just wishes it hadn’t been today, of all days, as he thinks of Eddie on the pavement below. He thinks of Chris, at home waiting for his dad and his Bucky to come back, and a sob escapes him.

Reaching quickly for his radio, he switches on all frequencies. If this is it, he has to say goodbye.

“Chief, I’ve secured the valve for now but it’s not gonna hold. You need to evacuate everyone.”

“Understood.” He hears Boden make the call, then. “What about you?”

“I think I’ve used up all my chances.”

There’s a curse, then Eddie’s voice is yelling in his ear. “Evan Severide, you get your ass back down here!”

Buck lets out a strangled laugh. “Not this time, Eds. I’m sorry.”

“Buck…”

“Tell Chris I love him? I love you Eds.”

A soft sob. “I love you too.”

Suddenly the door beside him slams open, and Kelly is there, looking both worried and pissed. He grabs the valve with both his hands, joining Evan to try and close it.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Evan yells, now worried for his brother’s safety too. “Boden told everyone –“

“I don’t care!” Kelly snaps. “I’m not leaving you here!”

“What, so you’re just going to die with me?!”

Kelly fixes him with a stare. “You go, I go.”

“You’re an idiot!” Evan yells, but renews his focus on the valve.

It’s no use. It won’t budge any further.

Then Kelly’s looking over his shoulder to the river, a grin forming, and Evan knows his brother’s got something even stupider in mind.

“On three?” Kelly says, and Evan’s shaking his head. He doesn’t want to die, but –

“This is crazy!”

“Three!” Kelly yells, and then they’re letting the valve go, running for the edge of the building as the pressure builds, whistle echoing… then the almighty boom echoes, splitting the air, and they’re over the side, plunging into the dark depths below.

Why is it always Evan? Eddie thinks as he yells for his boyfriend to get his ass down there. Then Buck’s telling him goodbye, telling him that he loves him, and Eddie feels like he can’t breathe.

Of course Evan would wind up in a situation like this, on Eddie’s first day; of course fate would hate them this much.

Then he hears Kelly in Boden’s radio, faint, but saying that he’s going for Buck, and Eddie feels hope. If anyone can get Buck out, it’s Kelly.

The moments stretch, Boden shouting into his radio, and then the sky becomes an inferno, and all their hope shatters.

Eddie finds himself holding back a scream as Boden directs them to go around to the river.

“There!” Hermann shouts, and then they’re all rushing to the side, looking over into the river.

They see Severide – Kelly, that is – half submerged in the water. He’s swivelling his head as he keeps afloat, shouting for Buck.

None of them have eyes on Evan. “Where’s Buck?”

Moments pass, and Eddie’s heart is in his mouth. Then Stella shouts, “I got Buck!” and Eddie lets himself feel a moment of relief.

It passes all too quickly though when Eddie actually lays his eyes on Buck.

His boyfriend is too still, floating on his back in the water. He’s clearly unconscious, and Eddie’s suddenly thankful that their turnouts are somewhat water tight.

“Buck!” Stella shouts, then turns to Boden. “I’m gonna harness up and get him, Chief!”

Briefly, Eddie wonders if she’s doing it for Buck or for the elder Severide, whom it’s clear she has a crush on. He sees Matt frown, but then Squad’s getting a ladder into the water for Kelly, and Matt’s moving to help his boyfriend.

The rest of them watch, tense, as Stella is lowered into the river, scrabbling for a hold on Buck. She clips him to her harness, and then they’re being lifted to safety.

Kelly’s out of the water, wrapped in a blanket, looking petrified as Buck’s still form is lowered to the concrete.

“Watch his head!” Cruz calls, while Stella unclips them both, still calling softly. “Buck? Can you hear me?”

Eddie hopes he’s imagining the slight blue tinge to Buck’s lips; his boyfriend remaining unresponsive.

Then Stella rubs his sternum, and with a harsh cough Buck spews up a mouthful of water. His eyes blink open, confused. “Kelly? Is Kelly okay?”

“He’s good.” Cruz calls, and Eddie feels the tension leave him at once. A glance over to Kelly shows him the elder Severide also looking beyond relieved.

Buck’s back to his feet a moment later, hugging Kelly tightly. Eddie reaches out for his hand, and Buck brings him into the hug.

“What were you thinking?” He grouches as they break apart.

Buck shrugs, sharing a grin with Kelly. “We weren’t.”

Eddie knows he’s going to have to give them a stern talking to later, but for now helps bundle them into the ambo for a trip to Med.

The rest of the shift passes with little fanfare, and before he knows it, Eddie’s completed his first shift at 51. He leaves with calls to tell Buck to rest up, Mouch saying “Hell of a first day, huh?” and then he’s home.

Pushing open the front door he’s greeted by the sight of Buck and Chris on the couch, curled up in blankets. Eddie’s heart swells at the sight.

“Dad!” Chris is the one to spot him first, grinning madly and lifting one side of the blanket.

Buck just makes eyes at him.

Eddie laughs, feeling the last bit of his tension fall away as he curls up with his boys, one arm around Buck; Chris sandwiched between them.

“How was the rest of shift?”

“It was okay.” Eddie says truthfully. “Everyone sends love. They were concerned for you and Kelly.”

“We’re good.” Buck beams. “Takes a lot to knock down us Severides.” There’s a sadness in his words though – it’s been barely three months after Benny – and it stops Eddie from asking about what they said at Med.

Buck’s always felt guilty for getting hurt on the job, for worrying people, and his relationship with Kelly is still rocky at best. Buck himself has only been back at 51 for 5 weeks. Eddie doesn’t want to upset him, so he doesn’t push. He just pulls Buck closer, glad the pallor has returned to his skin.

The movie plays, and one by one they all fall asleep.

As the morning light filters through the curtains, Eddie lets out a groan and stretches the kinks from his muscles.

“Morning.” Buck says from the open kitchen where he’s making pancakes. “I got Chris off to school. We’ve two hours before our shift.”

It’s almost like they’re back in L.A., the normalacy of it, but there’s a gruffness to Buck’s voice that has Eddie frowning.

“You okay?”

“Fine.” Buck’s focused on the pancakes, but Eddie can see the way he’s rubbing his chest, and he’s reminded all too clearly of the embolism.

“Buck…”

“Eddie! I said – ” He cuts off with a harsh cough, deep and rattling. His hand grips the countertop, and Eddie’s up in a flash, rubbing his back.

When it finally subsides, Eddie’s looking at him with concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes.” Buck snaps, jerking roughly from Eddie’s grip. He abandons the pancakes, stalking away towards their bedroom.

Eddie’s concern grows, turning the stove off and following Buck. The bathroom door slams in his face. The sudden irritability has his mind trailing back to only a few months ago, when Bobby brought Buck back to L.A., and the rattling of the cabinets has him panicking. “Buck?! What are you looking for?”

The door snaps open. Buck’s scowling, holding a bottle of cough medicine.

Eddie relaxes.

“I’m not slipping back just because of a little incident at work.” Buck growls, turning back to the sink to take two capfuls. He shoves the bottle back and stalks past Eddie. “We’ve got a shift.”

He’s rifling through the wardrobe now for their uniforms, but Eddie won’t let go that easily. He tugs Buck’s arm, bringing him down to the bed.

“Evan… You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

“What?” Buck blinks at him, coughs again, and shakes his head. “Eddie… I’m fine, okay? Med cleared me. I don’t know what you’re so worried about.”

“You don’t…” Eddie scowls, running a hand through his hair. “Evan, your breathing’s off, you’re coughing and rubbing your chest… sound familiar?”

Buck sighs, eyes sliding shut, forehead coming to rest on his palm. “The embolism.” He murmurs. “I’m sorry, Eds.”

“Hey.” Eddie draws him into a hug. “I love you. I’m always going to worry when you put yourself in danger.”

“I know.” Buck looks up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “But I promise, I’m fine. Med cleared me. I did swallow a mouthful of water though, so it’s probably just a cold. I’ll call out of shift if I feel worse.”

“And you’ll tell Boden?”

Buck just kisses him softly and starts getting dressed, leaving Eddie at a loss of what to do.

The drive to the station is tense. Eddie doesn’t know what to say and Buck seems reluctant to offer much. When they arrive, he throws the car into park, kisses Eddie’s cheek and then is off to Boden’s office.

Eddie stares after him for a moment, sighs, and heads into the lounge.

Matt’s the only one there, and his brow creases at the look on Eddie’s face. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah…” Eddie shakes his head, walking over to his Lieutenant. “I know this is a bit… personal, but has Kelly been okay?”

“After yesterday?” Matt frowns. “Yeah, I mean… nothing a warm blanket and cocoa couldn’t fix. Why?”

“Something’s off with Buck and I… I don’t know I just feel like he’s… distant. I feel like he’s been this way since his Dad, and I…”

“You wanted to know if Kelly’d said anything?”

Eddie just sighs.

“Look.” Matt’s hand is warm on his shoulder. “Things have been rough for them, but they’ll be okay. They always are.”

It does little to soothe Eddie’s worries, especially when they begin hearing raised voices from Boden’s office.

“It’s protocol, Evan!”

“Like you wouldn’t be doing the exact same thing! You always brush people off like it’s a chore for them to be concerned about you! Like it annoys you that people care about your wellbeing! Well excuse me if I’m just taking from my big brother’s handbook!”

“That’s enough!” Boden’s voice cuts through the enraged bickering. “I gave you both leeway after Benny, but I thought you two had sorted things out! ”

“This has nothing to do with Dad!” Evan yells. “It’s about Kelly either treating me like I’m porcelain, or like I’m a nuisance!”

“That’s not true!”

“Yes, it is! Ever since I came back you look at me like I’m gonna break. But when it came to Dad… when I needed you… you weren’t there, Kelly. You pushed me away!”

“And I told you I was sorry for that! I was hurting. He was my Dad longer than he was yours.”

“And there it is.”

“Ev…”

The door slams open, Evan stalking past them into the truck bay. He’s swaying on his feet, and Eddie just knows something’s not right. Yes the tension had been boiling between Evan and Kelly for some time, but they were professional at work, and outside of it… they were fragile. For Evan to have a screaming match with him in front of Boden, it was as odd as his mood swing that morning.

“Buck!” He chases after his boyfriend, Kelly close behind him.

“Evan!”

Buck’s fist hits the truck, and then he swings back toward them, stumbling. He’s breathing hard, and Eddie can hear that rattle again.

Kelly’s frowning, and there’s something there that none of them can quite recognise. “Evan… What did you do?”

Eddie’s blood freezes; it’s the wrong time, but how can Kelly know?

Buck just laughs. “You don’t know the half of it.”

He’s stumbling again, the laugh dissolving into a coughing fit, and he hits his back against the truck, sliding down to the floor. Both Eddie and Kelly are at his side in a second, but Evan’s brushing them off, trying to get to his feet.

“Evan, stop!” Kelly’s pushing him back down. “You can’t work like this.”

“Like what, Kelly?” Buck’s struggling to speak between the coughs. “I’m doing what… you said. S- Sucking i-it up.”

Kelly reels back from the invisible blow, but Eddie’s focus is purely on Buck as his boyfriend starts wheezing loudly.

“C-Can’t… br-breathe…”

The symptoms hit Eddie at once, and he’s yelling over to Brett, who’d been restocking the Ambo when the argument erupted. “Get oxygen over here!”

She’s over with a mask a second later, placing it over Buck’s face and trying to get him to breathe normally. Eddie has the stethoscope in his ears, listening to Buck’s lungs. He shakes his head, panic on his face. “Delayed secondary drowning.”

“Get him into the ambo, now!” Brett yells. Kelly had been frozen, but he’s up in an instant, working with Eddie to carry Buck inside and get him on the gurney. Brett jumps in after telling Chili to drive, slamming the doors behind them.

The keen of the siren is all that’s left at 51 as they peel away.

Once again Will Halstead and his team are waiting for them at the trauma doors, and even he looks surprised to once again have Buck grace their hospital.

“What have we got?”

“Suspected delayed secondary drowning after a 40 foot fall into a riverbank on a call yesterday afternoon. BP’s 80 over 60, heart rate 120. He’s tachychardic; heart’s working too hard to get oxygen around but the lungs are inflamed. Wheezing breaths on both sides. Lost consciousness around 10 minutes ago, so we had to intubate, but it was difficult.”

Halstead nods, but his expression is tight. Eddie knows what he’s thinking; DSD usually only presents in children.

“Let’s get him in. Hang a saline drip, open wide. I want a chest x-ray now.”

They’re about to go when Eddie grabs onto Halstead’s coat. Will meets his eyes, confused.

“He can’t have painkillers.” Eddie whispers, hoping Kelly won’t overhear. He might suspect something, but it was Buck’s story to tell. That said, Eddie won’t let him fall now.

Halstead’s eyes widen a fraction, surprised, but he nods and is gone.

Unfortunately when Eddie turns back, Kelly is watching him with sad eyes. “Why can’t he have pain meds?”

Eddie rubs a hand over his face. “Kelly… Please…”

“Is that why he went to L.A.?”

Eddie can’t bring himself to answer.

Kelly’s expression is pinched, and then he reels back with realisation. “After the chimney collapse, I thought I’d just miscounted my meds… Is that why he left?”

Eddie stays silent, and Kelly’s expression morphs into anger.

“Answer me, dammit!”

The security guards are watching them, but Kelly stalks back outside without a word. When Eddie finds the wherewithal to follow, he’s just in time to see Kelly’s fist hit the brick wall. “Kelly!”

He stops him from throwing a second punch, gently inspecting the now bleeding, gritty knuckles. “Come on.” He leads him gently back to the ambo, where he starts extracting the slivers of stone and concrete out with tweezers.

“I should have known something was wrong.” Kelly whispers, and he sounds so defeated that Eddie’s heart breaks. “I should have known.”

“He didn’t tell you for a reason.” Eddie says softly, wrapping Kelly’s hand. “You were dealing with – ”

“It doesn’t matter. He’s my brother. I should have known.”

Eddie sighs, moving to sit next to Kelly. “I know it doesn’t help, but he’s fine now. What I said – ”

“You were protecting him. Like I should have done.”

“You can’t always.”

“I should.” Kelly meets his eyes and all Eddie can see is pure anguish. “It’s my job.”

Kelly shakes his head, jumping out of the ambulance and heading back into Med. “It’s my job and I… I told him to suck it up… What does that make me?”

Eddie just pulls him back, hugging him tightly. “It makes you human.”

It takes an hour before Halstead returns, and both men are glad to see him wearing a smile.

“He’s gonna be okay.”

The relief in the waiting room is palpable; Kelly and Eddie both release an audible sigh.

“He’s got a severe chest infection from the water he took in, but we’ve got him on antibiotics, and the swelling is already going down. He’s still gonna be on the ventilator until his stats improve, but I’m confident we can take him off it tonight. A few days of rest, and he’ll be good as new.”

They both thank him, and then they’re led to Buck’s room. Eddie pauses them just outside the door.

“I thought it was DSD because he’d had a mood swing in the morning, then the fight with you and Boden… but an infection doesn’t explain that. I think you and he need to have a really long talk.”

“Trust me.” Kelly says, hand on the door. “I’m already planning on it.”

Eddie lets him go first, watching through the window as Kelly takes a seat beside Buck and holds his hand tight.

“You need to stop scaring me like this Evan, or I really am gonna go bald.” Kelly’s smile is tight, tears tracking down his cheeks. “Look, little brother. I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry. The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you. I don’t know… I felt so lost after Dad… so angry at him for leaving us… but I never should have let you down.”

He leans down, pressing a kiss to Buck’s hairline. “When you wake up, we’re gonna have a big talk. But for now… I promise I am always gonna be here for you. Okay?” He settles back, watching the steady reassuring beep of the monitor; Buck’s hand warm in his.

“Always.”


End file.
